Last week we discussed Aristotle's idea of "the good life," his conclusion that only virtuous living leads to lasting happiness.
This is the moral of virtually every great novel or movie. The idea resides at the core of the world's great religious traditions. Parents everywhere try to inculcate it in their children.
We all imagine ourselves to be virtuous, of course, even if we seldom think of it in such explicit terms. But that's at least partly because we tend to be experts at excusing our own behavior when it falls short of the ideal.
In their tongue-in-cheek book Rationalizations to Live By, Henry Beard, Andy Borowitz and John Boswell offer plenty of examples, ranging from the cringe-inducing to the hilarious:
- I'm this way because of my parents.
- Everybody does it.
- I'll save even more money if I buy nine of these.
- If we don't finish this second bottle, it will just go bad.
- We're all going to die of something.
- My wife doesn't understand me.
- He's probably cheating on me, too.
- I'm not running for "saint."
- I do some of my best thinking on the golf course.
- I'm only moving the ball to where it should have landed.
- If I were in the hospital, I wouldn't want a bunch of people bothering me.
- No one will ever know.
- I've never been good with authority.
- I only smoke at parties. I could quit tomorrow. This is my last one.
- After a crummy day like this, I deserve these shoes.
- After a great day like this, I should celebrate with these shoes.
- With what I saved on this purse, I should buy these shoes.
- All this shopping is good for the economy.
- I'll do a better job on this if I start tomorrow.
- You only live once.
- He'll just spend it on liquor.
- Skipping one day of exercise isn't going to kill me.
- I'm just big-boned.
- That's for the one you called "out" last game.
- It's not sucking up to the boss if you really mean it.
- I'm not trying to win a popularity contest.
- I'm eating for two now.
- What are the odds of a handicapped person needing this spot while I drop off a video?
- It's deductible.
- I'm only human.
- They pay ushers to clean this stuff up.
- My work was never intended for the masses.
- I just don't test well.
- Einstein had a messy office.
- He'll thank me later.
- It's not like he's never borrowed something from me and not returned it.
- Ice cream is an excellent source of calcium.
- This expense sheet makes up for my crappy bonus.
- Finders keepers.
- I'll be dead by then.
- It's the thought that counts.
- Nobody died.
- And my personal favorite:
- If God didn't want us to eat baby sheep, he wouldn't have given us mint jelly.
The authors point out that an excuse is a lie we tell others. A rationalization is a lie we tell ourselves.
Of course, self-deception ranges beyond personal behavior to belief systems, too. Have you ever wondered how seemingly reasonable friends or relatives can hold such wacky political, economic or religious views?
It's tempting to think they aren't very smart. But studies show just the opposite. As my friend Michael Shermer, a historian of science and columnist for Scientific American, writes, "Smart people believe weird things because they are highly skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for nonsmart reasons."
Psychologists call it the self-justification bias. We make decisions - or arrive at certain beliefs - for emotional reasons. We then go to work cherry-picking data that supports our view while systematically ignoring or filtering out contradictory evidence.
Nothing is easier, said Demosthenes, than self-deceit. Yet we can't reach Aristotle's ideal (the virtuous life) until we understand our own minds - and our penchant for self-justification.
Know thyself, the ancient Greeks advised. Integrity starts with being honest with yourself.
As Socrates declared, "the shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world is to be in reality what you would appear to be."
Carpe Diem!
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