Seven Top Idiots of 2008

Number One Idiot of 2008


I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave
her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.


I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right
away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.


Number Two Idiot of 2008


Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life
raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was
homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was
inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys.
Don't get it wet; the paint might run.


Number Three Idiot of 2008


A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and
wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write
the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have
to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of Ame rica.


Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't
bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.


Number Four Idiot of 2008


A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told
the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the
clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this
point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk.


The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The
cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.This guy
definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Five of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.


The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first
bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign


Idiot Number Six of 2008


Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run.


So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.


Idiot Number Seven of 2008


I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ). We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road.


The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think
this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'