Friday, April 15, 2016

The Tax Inspector and the Rabbi

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these breadwafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufactures, and every now and then they send us a free box of breadwafers."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know - it - all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

Friday, December 25, 2015

Today's Quote

The spirit of Christmas--what is it? It is the rainbow arched over the roof of the sky when the clouds are heavy with foreboding. It is the cry of life in the newborn babe when, forced from its mother's nest, it claims its right to live. It is the brooding Presence of the Eternal Spirit making crooked paths straight, rough places smooth, tired hearts refreshed, dead hopes stirred with the newness of life. It is the promise of tomorrow at the close of every day, the movement of life in defiance of death, and the assurance that love is sturdier than hate, that right is more confident that wrong, that good is more permanent than evil.

-Howard Thurman (1899-1981) was one of the most influential progressive religious leaders of the twentieth century

Monday, November 30, 2015

If you find yourself looking forward to the end of the holiday season instead of the beginning, here’s a call to shift gears and reclaim what should be a time of appreciation, excitement, joy, and peace. Make up your mind that this is going to be your happiest Christmas ever. Your decision to emphasize the positive can reclaim a season that is supposed to bring out the best in us, rather than do us in. The truth is that this time of year offers us a wonderful opportunity to rekindle the spirit of love and living life to the fullest.

With your expectations set on positive, here are some attitude adjustments to try:

  • I’ll let the holidays flow, rather than trying to make them fit into a fixed schedule.
  • I’ll remember that people are more important than things.
  • I’ll relax my expectations for myself and others this year.
  • I’m going to live in the present moment and enjoy each activity for itself instead of always thinking about what is ahead of me.
  • I’m going to approach the holidays with a sense of joyful anticipation and wonder, just like I did when I was a child.
By vowing to think and behave in more meaningful ways, you’ll find in each present moment of the Christmas season something to savor and enjoy. Each moment of our lives affords us a choice and the holiday season is no exception. This life is a miracle, each and every particle of it, and the holiday season is a celebration of the miraculousness of it all.

You have choices in this business of Christmas celebrations. The responsibility is always your own. The true meaning of the holidays is one of joy, love, peace, and happiness. Cultivate a child-like awe and appreciation and have a Merry Christmas!

Friday, June 05, 2015

Today's Quote

"In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists."

Eric Hoffer

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Today's Quote

Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.

~Hans Christian Andersen