To God - From the Dog

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the Jaquar, the Cougar,
the Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray and the Rabbit, but not ONE
named for a dog? How often do you see a Cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I
have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some things I must
remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after
they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just
because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a "face" towel.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when
he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable
way of saying "HELLO".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under
the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering
the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my
butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch.

12. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and
he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S.....
Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles
back?