Sexed-up Halloween has gone to the dogs and lawyers

The horrifying evolution of Halloween continues. Recently it became Slutoween, but we're long past that.

Now it's Skanky Doggyween.

You may have seen the stories about sexy pet costumes, the miniature schnauzer in the tiny plaid skirt, the rat terrier in the lascivious Bo Peep outfit, the French Maid Chihuahua with the fishnet stockings, and so on.

Now that America has sexified its dogs, is it any wonder that al-Qaida wants us dead?

The other day, my wife, who teaches first grade, ran out looking for a last-minute costume. I suggested she make her own Mother Goose costume, but she was busy with lesson plans and the only fake goose I could think of was a hunting decoy.

So she drove to the mall and found a wide assortment of costumes: the Sexy Nurse and the Sexy Doll and other Sexy Nursery Rhyme Characters, all tastelessly inappropriate.

"It was ridiculous. It was just too much," she said.

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