“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
– John F. Kennedy
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose
your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing
a mask!
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't
remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of
restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with
a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose
your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing
a mask!
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't
remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of
restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with
a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Top 10 Ways to Go Green This Halloween
Here are the top ten tips for a “green” Halloween. They’ll save you money, too!
Sexed-up Halloween has gone to the dogs and lawyers
The horrifying evolution of Halloween continues. Recently it became Slutoween, but we're long past that.
Now it's Skanky Doggyween.
You may have seen the stories about sexy pet costumes, the miniature schnauzer in the tiny plaid skirt, the rat terrier in the lascivious Bo Peep outfit, the French Maid Chihuahua with the fishnet stockings, and so on.
Now that America has sexified its dogs, is it any wonder that al-Qaida wants us dead?
The other day, my wife, who teaches first grade, ran out looking for a last-minute costume. I suggested she make her own Mother Goose costume, but she was busy with lesson plans and the only fake goose I could think of was a hunting decoy.
So she drove to the mall and found a wide assortment of costumes: the Sexy Nurse and the Sexy Doll and other Sexy Nursery Rhyme Characters, all tastelessly inappropriate.
"It was ridiculous. It was just too much," she said.
Read more
Now it's Skanky Doggyween.
You may have seen the stories about sexy pet costumes, the miniature schnauzer in the tiny plaid skirt, the rat terrier in the lascivious Bo Peep outfit, the French Maid Chihuahua with the fishnet stockings, and so on.
Now that America has sexified its dogs, is it any wonder that al-Qaida wants us dead?
The other day, my wife, who teaches first grade, ran out looking for a last-minute costume. I suggested she make her own Mother Goose costume, but she was busy with lesson plans and the only fake goose I could think of was a hunting decoy.
So she drove to the mall and found a wide assortment of costumes: the Sexy Nurse and the Sexy Doll and other Sexy Nursery Rhyme Characters, all tastelessly inappropriate.
"It was ridiculous. It was just too much," she said.
Read more
11 Scariest Horror Movies of All Time
Just in time for Halloween, the man who brought you Taxi Driver and The Departed shares his favorite horror movies of all time. Plus, watch clips of the scariest scenes.
Eyeball Cupcakes
Ingredients:
½ cup vegetable shortening
1½ cups granulated sugar
2 eggs
¼ cup red food coloring, plus more for the frosting
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
2½ cups unbleached, all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
¼ cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda
plenty of vanilla buttercream frosting (use your favorite recipe or buy it prepared)
red food coloring
24 Gummy Lifesavers (or any round candy with a hole in it)
24 black jellybeans
Preheat oven to 350°. Line two 12-cupcake tins with white paper liners.
Cream shortening and sugar together by hand or in an electric mixer until fluffy. Add eggs and blend well. In a small bowl, make a paste of food coloring and cocoa and add to the shortening mixture. Sift flour and salt together into this mixture. Add the buttermilk and stir until incorporated, then stir in the water and the vanilla. In a small bowl, mix the vinegar with the baking soda. Fold this mixture into the cake batter, making sure it’s incorporated but being sure not to overmix it.
Pour the batter into the cupcake tins. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the cakes spring back when touched. Remove from oven and let cool for about 10 minutes, then turn the cupcakes out of pans and onto a rack to finish cooling completely.
When they’re cool, cover the cupcakes with vanilla frosting. Tint your extra frosting with red food coloring. Using a pastry bag and a small round tip, pipe the red frosting on the tops of the cupcakes to resemble bloodshot veins. Place one jellybean into the hole of each round candy. Now you have irises and pupils. Place one in the center of each cupcake. Serve in pairs. Eeeek!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Today's Quote
"Beware what you set your heart upon. For it shall surely be yours."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
1803-1882, Poet and Essayist
Ralph Waldo Emerson
1803-1882, Poet and Essayist
When are you too old to beg for candy?
How old is too old to trick-or-treat?
I say that if you're old enough to shave, you're too old.
Old enough to drive? Too old.
Taller than I am? Too old.
If it has crossed your mind to go trick-or-treating as an ironic act, you are way over the trick-or-treat hill.
Most of us have some inner clock that tells us when it's time to stop parading around the streets in fangs or a pink tutu, knocking on strangers' doors and begging for Fun Size Snickers bars.
It's like sucking your thumb or doodling your boyfriend's name in hearts or saying "Mommy." At some point, you just know it's time to let go.
Don't you? Not necessarily.
Read more
I say that if you're old enough to shave, you're too old.
Old enough to drive? Too old.
Taller than I am? Too old.
If it has crossed your mind to go trick-or-treating as an ironic act, you are way over the trick-or-treat hill.
Most of us have some inner clock that tells us when it's time to stop parading around the streets in fangs or a pink tutu, knocking on strangers' doors and begging for Fun Size Snickers bars.
It's like sucking your thumb or doodling your boyfriend's name in hearts or saying "Mommy." At some point, you just know it's time to let go.
Don't you? Not necessarily.
Read more
Southwest launches fare sale
Southwest Airlines is offering an airfare sale in which some flights cost as much as what some other carriers charge to check a bag.
Southwest on Tuesday announced one-way travel as low as $25, excluding certain fees, based on the length of the flight.
The discount carrier says fares are $25 for travel up to 375 miles. The price is $50 for travel between 375 and 549 miles, and $75 for flights between 550 and 999 miles.
A one-way fare on a flight of more than 1,000 miles costs $100.
The fares are available for purchase through Thursday, for travel between Dec. 2 and Dec. 16, or between Jan. 5 and Feb. 10. Southwest said seats, however, are limited -- "especially to popular destinations" -- and other restrictions apply.
Southwest on Tuesday announced one-way travel as low as $25, excluding certain fees, based on the length of the flight.
The discount carrier says fares are $25 for travel up to 375 miles. The price is $50 for travel between 375 and 549 miles, and $75 for flights between 550 and 999 miles.
A one-way fare on a flight of more than 1,000 miles costs $100.
The fares are available for purchase through Thursday, for travel between Dec. 2 and Dec. 16, or between Jan. 5 and Feb. 10. Southwest said seats, however, are limited -- "especially to popular destinations" -- and other restrictions apply.
Action Item - DeFox America
Sign the petition: http://defoxamerica.com
FOX News is on a witch hunt, aimed at destroying the Obama administration and the progressive movement. Theyve already succeeded in pushing Van Jones out of the White House and badgered Congress into passing an unconstitutional bill to defund ACORN. Glenn Beck actually keeps an enemies list on a blackboard thats a regular part of his show.
ACORN is just the beginning. FOX has an enemies list, and theyre going to keep destroying progressive champions until we stop them.
Tell your Congressperson: If you vote to extend the Defund ACORN Act, youre just assisting FOX in their anti-American witch hunt.
SEND A MESSAGE TO CONGRESS
Dear Congress member,
I am writing to urge you to join me in "Defoxing America."
Fox "News" personalities are pushing an agenda that is dangerous to ordinary Americans. Using tactics such as placing individuals singled out for censure on a blackboard and linking them to murderous dictators like Josef Stalin, Fox News has deliberately created an atmosphere of hysteria that they have used to attack organizations and individuals fighting for the issues that matter most to working families. I urge you to stand up to these new McCarthy-ite tactics by voting against any unconstitutional legislation that singles out specific organizations. This includes the Continuing Resolution that cuts off Federal support to the national anti-poverty group ACORN.
Don't let Glenn Beck's blackboard dictate the people's agenda. Stand up and "Defox America"
FOX News is on a witch hunt, aimed at destroying the Obama administration and the progressive movement. Theyve already succeeded in pushing Van Jones out of the White House and badgered Congress into passing an unconstitutional bill to defund ACORN. Glenn Beck actually keeps an enemies list on a blackboard thats a regular part of his show.
ACORN is just the beginning. FOX has an enemies list, and theyre going to keep destroying progressive champions until we stop them.
Tell your Congressperson: If you vote to extend the Defund ACORN Act, youre just assisting FOX in their anti-American witch hunt.
SEND A MESSAGE TO CONGRESS
Dear Congress member,
I am writing to urge you to join me in "Defoxing America."
Fox "News" personalities are pushing an agenda that is dangerous to ordinary Americans. Using tactics such as placing individuals singled out for censure on a blackboard and linking them to murderous dictators like Josef Stalin, Fox News has deliberately created an atmosphere of hysteria that they have used to attack organizations and individuals fighting for the issues that matter most to working families. I urge you to stand up to these new McCarthy-ite tactics by voting against any unconstitutional legislation that singles out specific organizations. This includes the Continuing Resolution that cuts off Federal support to the national anti-poverty group ACORN.
Don't let Glenn Beck's blackboard dictate the people's agenda. Stand up and "Defox America"
Clothing Rules for Old Folks
Many ' Old Folks' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering
near 50) are quite confused about how they should present themselves.
They are unsure about the kind of image they are projecting and
whether or not they are correct as we try to conform to current
fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets,the
following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Mini skirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last , but not least
13. Thongs and Depends
near 50) are quite confused about how they should present themselves.
They are unsure about the kind of image they are projecting and
whether or not they are correct as we try to conform to current
fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets,the
following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Mini skirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last , but not least
13. Thongs and Depends
Save the planet: eat a dog?
The eco-pawprint of a pet dog is twice that of a 4.6-litre Land Cruiser driven 10,000 kilometres a year, researchers have found.
Victoria University professors Brenda and Robert Vale, architects who specialise in sustainable living, say pet owners should swap cats and dogs for creatures they can eat, such as chickens or rabbits, in their provocative new book Time to Eat the Dog: The real guide to sustainable living.
The couple have assessed the carbon emissions created bypopular pets, taking into account the ingredients of pet food and the land needed to create them.
"If you have a German shepherd or similar-sized dog, for example, its impact every year is exactly the same as driving a large car around," Brenda Vale said.
"A lot of people worry about having SUVs but they don't worry about having Alsatians and what we are saying is, well, maybe you should be because the environmental impact ... is comparable."
Read more
Victoria University professors Brenda and Robert Vale, architects who specialise in sustainable living, say pet owners should swap cats and dogs for creatures they can eat, such as chickens or rabbits, in their provocative new book Time to Eat the Dog: The real guide to sustainable living.
The couple have assessed the carbon emissions created bypopular pets, taking into account the ingredients of pet food and the land needed to create them.
"If you have a German shepherd or similar-sized dog, for example, its impact every year is exactly the same as driving a large car around," Brenda Vale said.
"A lot of people worry about having SUVs but they don't worry about having Alsatians and what we are saying is, well, maybe you should be because the environmental impact ... is comparable."
Read more
Find your true calling
One of the first questions we face when we meet new acquaintances is "What do you do?" And according to how we answer, they will either be delighted to see us or look with embarrassment at their watches and shuffle away. The fact is, we live in a world where we are defined almost entirely by our work.
This can be hugely liberating for people who are happily employed. But the problem for many of us is that we don't know what job we're supposed to do and, as a result, are still waiting to learn who we should be. The idea that we have missed out on our true calling—that somehow we ought to have intuited what we should be doing with our lives long before we finished our degrees, started families, and advanced through the ranks—torments us. This notion, however, can be an illusion. The term calling came into circulation in a Christian context during the medieval period to describe the abrupt imperative people might encounter to devote themselves to Jesus' teachings. Now a secularized version has survived, which is prone to give us an expectation that the meaning of our lives might at some point be revealed in a ready-made and decisive form, rendering us permanently immune to confusion, envy, and regret.
Read more
This can be hugely liberating for people who are happily employed. But the problem for many of us is that we don't know what job we're supposed to do and, as a result, are still waiting to learn who we should be. The idea that we have missed out on our true calling—that somehow we ought to have intuited what we should be doing with our lives long before we finished our degrees, started families, and advanced through the ranks—torments us. This notion, however, can be an illusion. The term calling came into circulation in a Christian context during the medieval period to describe the abrupt imperative people might encounter to devote themselves to Jesus' teachings. Now a secularized version has survived, which is prone to give us an expectation that the meaning of our lives might at some point be revealed in a ready-made and decisive form, rendering us permanently immune to confusion, envy, and regret.
Read more
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have been touched by the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life's betrayals
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
Without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own;
If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of
your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from ITS presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "YES!"
It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
--- Oriah Mountain Dreamer, May 1994
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have been touched by the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life's betrayals
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
Without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own;
If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of
your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from ITS presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "YES!"
It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
--- Oriah Mountain Dreamer, May 1994
oooopppps
An acquaintance of mine was hired as a research assistant
by the physics department of a West Coast university to
investigate the thermodynamic properties of wood. Two weeks
after starting work he was approached by an encyclopedia
salesman who explained that purchase of the encyclopedia
entitled the buyer to have any three special questions
answered completely. To save himself a great deal of work,
the researcher bought the encyclopedia, stipulating for his
first free question a full dissertation on the thermodynamic
properties of wood.
Three weeks later the head of the physics department called
the research assistant into his office and said, "We have a
request from an encyclopedia company. One of their customers
has asked for a report on the thermodynamic properties of
wood. Please prepare the report for them."
by the physics department of a West Coast university to
investigate the thermodynamic properties of wood. Two weeks
after starting work he was approached by an encyclopedia
salesman who explained that purchase of the encyclopedia
entitled the buyer to have any three special questions
answered completely. To save himself a great deal of work,
the researcher bought the encyclopedia, stipulating for his
first free question a full dissertation on the thermodynamic
properties of wood.
Three weeks later the head of the physics department called
the research assistant into his office and said, "We have a
request from an encyclopedia company. One of their customers
has asked for a report on the thermodynamic properties of
wood. Please prepare the report for them."
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Today's Quote
"There's no reward in life without risk."
— Barry J. Farber: Motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and author
— Barry J. Farber: Motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and author
CNN Falls to Last Place
CNN invented the 24/7 cable news model, but now the network finds itself in last place as three of its four primetime programs trail all other competitors. The dip in the standings marks a low point in the history of the channel. Playing the straight man between the left-leaning MSNBC lineup and the right-leaning Fox News doesn't seem to have paid dividends in viewership. Adding insult to injury, the CNN-created Headline News is outperforming the parent network in valuable time slots. Anderson Cooper, perhaps CNN's most recognizable face, is getting beat by Greta Van Susteren and re-runs of Keith Olberman and Nancy Grace.
Read more
Read more
Facebook keeps profiles of people who have died, though removes some features
Death doesn't erase the online footprints that people leave in life and Facebook won't either, though it will make some changes.
The five-year-old social network will "memorialize" profiles of the dead if their friends or family request it.
Such accounts aren't new, but Facebook reminded visitors of their availability in a blog post this week.
Memorialized accounts are different from regular Facebook profiles.
Read more
The five-year-old social network will "memorialize" profiles of the dead if their friends or family request it.
Such accounts aren't new, but Facebook reminded visitors of their availability in a blog post this week.
Memorialized accounts are different from regular Facebook profiles.
Read more
Four Characteristics of Success
No matter if your goals are personal or professional in nature; there are four characteristics of success that will help you find what you are looking for in life. From becoming a better parent or spouse, to finding more success at work, these attributes provide a roadmap, a checklist, to help you achieve your goals, too.
The Most Ridiculous, Wasteful Consumer Products Ever
An automatic spinning ice cream cone, an avocado slicer, and a snuggie for your puppy... some of the products created and sold in this country are truly ludicrous and unnecessary.
Read more/Photos/Video
Read more/Photos/Video
Website of the Day - Let Them Sing it For You
This is cool. You make up a song, or poem or whatever you want to send - and the site puts it to music. It's very user friendly. You'll love it.
Peaceful Protesters Included on Police Database of 'Domestic Extremists'
Peaceful protesters are being included on a national police database of activists including animal rights activists, far-right groups and other ‘domestic extremists’, according to reports.
Read more
Read more
The Anti-Fast Food Diet
There is a meditation exercise in which you place a raisin in your mouth. You do not eat the raisin. You meditate and allow it to sit in your mouth unmolested. The raisin plumps up and becomes a juicy fruitness in your mouth, tempting you to bite it. This is a powerful example of how eating is different when you are truly aware of each morsel.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Abandon fast food, and all the values it brings: mass consumption, mass production, the exploitation of workers, the destruction of the environment, the destruction of small local businesses, the corporatization of our culture.
Instead, embrace Slow Food. Here’s how.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Abandon fast food, and all the values it brings: mass consumption, mass production, the exploitation of workers, the destruction of the environment, the destruction of small local businesses, the corporatization of our culture.
Instead, embrace Slow Food. Here’s how.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Today's Quote
"The quality of events surrounding you in any given moment in time may be reflecting specific beliefs that you hold in that moment of time."
— Gregg Braden: a pioneer in bridging science and spirituality
— Gregg Braden: a pioneer in bridging science and spirituality
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
* To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of
something when you walk around. That way, if anybody
says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry,
got these sacks."
* The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth
part of the face.
* If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava,
let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
* If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cut-
ting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time,
for no good reason.
* If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself
in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws
you into a panic.
* To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music,
no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
* I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose
a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there
are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
something when you walk around. That way, if anybody
says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry,
got these sacks."
* The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth
part of the face.
* If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava,
let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
* If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cut-
ting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time,
for no good reason.
* If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself
in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws
you into a panic.
* To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music,
no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
* I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose
a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there
are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
Think Your Prescription is Private? Think Again!
Do you know where your private prescription information is? As pharmacy chains, benefits companies and drug makers work more closely, your prescription history is being shared more than you might think.
CVS Caremark, which handles more than 1 billion prescriptions a year, has made no secret that sharing such information is a cornerstone of its business.
"We have more information on the consumer and their behavior than anybody else, and we share it with our over-the-counter suppliers," Thomas Ryan, president and chief executive, told investors last year. "We share it with our pharmacy suppliers. So we know how the consumer works."
Read more
CVS Caremark, which handles more than 1 billion prescriptions a year, has made no secret that sharing such information is a cornerstone of its business.
"We have more information on the consumer and their behavior than anybody else, and we share it with our over-the-counter suppliers," Thomas Ryan, president and chief executive, told investors last year. "We share it with our pharmacy suppliers. So we know how the consumer works."
Read more
Texas, the Eyes of Justice Are Upon You - Bill Moyers
Lethal injection is practically a religious ritual in Texas. In fact, before their sentencing verdict that will send Khristian Oliver to die in just a couple of weeks - on November 5, to be exact - jurors in the East Texas town of Nacogdoches consulted the Bible and found what they were looking for in the Book of Numbers, where it reads, "The murderer shall surely be put to death," and, "The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer." Although it was noted that referencing holy writ was an inappropriate "external influence," two appeals courts upheld the jury's sentence and the US Supreme Court refused to hear the case.
Governor Perry will do almost anything to please the vengeful crowd in the Coliseum with their thumbs turned down. Did we mention that next year he's up for re-election? When it turned out recently that five years ago the state may have wrongfully executed a man for a crime he didn't commit, Perry pulled some particularly shady moves.
In February 2004, Cameron Todd Willingham was put to death for allegedly setting a fire that killed his three young daughters. Governor Perry has willfully ignored evidence from top arson investigators that the blaze was not homicide but an accident.
Now Perry has fired the chairman and three members of the state's Forensic Science Commission just as they were about to hear further scientific testimony that might prove Willingham's innocence. This week, Perry told reporters that the controversy is "nothing more than propaganda from the anti-death penalty people across the country."
Read more
Governor Perry will do almost anything to please the vengeful crowd in the Coliseum with their thumbs turned down. Did we mention that next year he's up for re-election? When it turned out recently that five years ago the state may have wrongfully executed a man for a crime he didn't commit, Perry pulled some particularly shady moves.
In February 2004, Cameron Todd Willingham was put to death for allegedly setting a fire that killed his three young daughters. Governor Perry has willfully ignored evidence from top arson investigators that the blaze was not homicide but an accident.
Now Perry has fired the chairman and three members of the state's Forensic Science Commission just as they were about to hear further scientific testimony that might prove Willingham's innocence. This week, Perry told reporters that the controversy is "nothing more than propaganda from the anti-death penalty people across the country."
Read more
Wall Street Dictionary
show details 12/1/08
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
RNC keeps racist pics on Facebook for nearly a week
Perhaps no one noticed. Perhaps no one cared. But hours after a liberal news forum brought attention to a series of days old controversial photos on the Republican National Committee's Facebook page, the photos were finally taken down.
Among them was a picture of President Barack Obama eating fried chicken, subtitled with a call to prohibit interracial marriage. The photo's caption read: "Miscegenation is a CRIME against American Values. Repeal Loving v. Virginia."
Read more
Among them was a picture of President Barack Obama eating fried chicken, subtitled with a call to prohibit interracial marriage. The photo's caption read: "Miscegenation is a CRIME against American Values. Repeal Loving v. Virginia."
Read more
The top 10 best-selling grocery items
From Information Resources Inc., a Chicago-based market information services firm.
Top 10 best-selling grocery items for the year ending June 14:
1. Carbonated beverages ($12 billion in sales)
2. Milk ($11.2 billion)
3. Fresh bread & rolls ($9.57 billion)
4. Beer/ale/hard cider ($8.17 billion)
5. Salty snacks ($8.09 billion)
6. Natural cheese ($7.64 billion)
7. Frozen dinners/entrees ($6.13 billion)
8. Cold cereal ($6.11 billion)
9. Wine ($5.49 billion)
10. Cigarettes ($4.63 billion)
Top 10 best-selling grocery items for the year ending June 14:
1. Carbonated beverages ($12 billion in sales)
2. Milk ($11.2 billion)
3. Fresh bread & rolls ($9.57 billion)
4. Beer/ale/hard cider ($8.17 billion)
5. Salty snacks ($8.09 billion)
6. Natural cheese ($7.64 billion)
7. Frozen dinners/entrees ($6.13 billion)
8. Cold cereal ($6.11 billion)
9. Wine ($5.49 billion)
10. Cigarettes ($4.63 billion)
Huge Polar Bear Habitat Proposed
In what would be the largest habitat zone in the U.S., the Interior Department proposed designating more than 200,000 square miles of the northern Alaska coast as a critical habitat for polar bears. Officials said the designation would not conflict with the oil and gas industries there, nor would it affect the biggest threat to polar bears: sea ice disappearing because of global warming. The proposal follows warnings that the bears could be wiped out in America by the end of the century. As ice floes have melted, the bears have been pushed inland, where residents of Alaskan North Slope native villages are allowed to hunt them for food.
Read more
Read more
"Healthified" Carrot Cake
53% fewer calories • 77% less sat fat • 73% less fat than the original recipe—see the comparison. Wonderful flavor remains while smart substitutions cut calories and fat. From eatbetteramerica.
Prep Time:30 min
Start to Finish:2 hr 10 min
makes:16 servings
Cake
1/2 cup fat-free egg product
1/3 cup canola oil
1/3 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)
1/4 cup fat-free (skim) milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1/2 cup Gold Medal® whole wheat flour
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups shredded carrots (about 4 medium)
Frosting
4 oz (half of 8-oz package) 1/3-less-fat cream cheese (Neufchâtel), softened
2 tablespoons butter or no-trans-fat 68% vegetable oil spread stick, softened
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 to 2 teaspoons fat-free (skim) milk
1/3 cup chopped pecans
1. Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottoms only of two 8-inch round cake pans with cooking spray. In large bowl, mix egg product, oil, pumpkin, 1/4 cup milk and 1 teaspoon vanilla with electric mixer on low speed until well blended.
2. Add all remaining cake ingredients except carrots. Beat on low speed 30 seconds or until well blended. Stir in carrots. Pour batter evenly into pans.
3. Bake 28 to 33 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes. Carefully run knife around sides of pans to loosen; remove from pans to cooling racks. Cool completely, about 1 hour.
4. In medium bowl, beat cream cheese and butter with electric mixer on medium speed until creamy. On low speed, beat in 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla until well blended. Beat in powdered sugar, 1 cup at a time, until smooth. If necessary, add milk, 1/2 teaspoon at a time, until frosting is desired consistency. Spread frosting between cake layers and on top. Sprinkle with pecans.
High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): Decrease baking powder to 1 1/4 teaspoons. In step 3, bake 30 to 35 minutes.
Nutritional Information
1 Serving: Calories 300 (Calories from Fat 90); Total Fat 10g (Saturated Fat 2 1/2g, Trans Fat 0g); Cholesterol 10mg; Sodium 190mg; Total Carbohydrate 50g (Dietary Fiber 1g, Sugars 39g); Protein 3g % Daily Value*: Vitamin A 70%; Vitamin C 0%; Calcium 6%; Iron 6% Exchanges: 1/2 Starch; 3 Other Carbohydrate; 0 Vegetable; 2 Fat Carbohydrate Choices: 3 MyPyramid Servings: 1 tsp Fats & Oils, 1 oz-equivalents Grains
*% Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
7 tips to prevent headaches from starting
Some of the foods that are known to trigger migraines include coffee or caffeine, wines, cheese, smoked meats, sugar, chocolate and anything with the chemical MSG. If you're prone to headaches and regularly indulge in these foods, eliminate them one by one from your diet to see if you can find the link between what you put in your mouth and what you feel in your head.
Same goes for some of the other triggers. For example, if your migraines might be caused by fluctuations in estrogen, talk to your doc about stabilizing medications that have a lot of estrogen, such as birth control pills—several are available that cycle only four times a year; Seasonique and Seasonale are two common ones. For once-yearly periods, consider Lybrel.
While you can treat your headaches with pain meds, the better course of action is to find the cause and stop them from occurring in the first place.
Read more
Same goes for some of the other triggers. For example, if your migraines might be caused by fluctuations in estrogen, talk to your doc about stabilizing medications that have a lot of estrogen, such as birth control pills—several are available that cycle only four times a year; Seasonique and Seasonale are two common ones. For once-yearly periods, consider Lybrel.
While you can treat your headaches with pain meds, the better course of action is to find the cause and stop them from occurring in the first place.
Read more
"Michael Moore's Action Plan: 15 Things Every American Can Do Right Now"
Friends,
It's the #1 question I'm constantly asked after people see my movie: "OK -- so NOW what can I DO?!"
You want something to do? Well, you've come to the right place! 'Cause I got 15 things you and I can do right now to fight back and try to fix this very broken system.
Here they are:
FIVE THINGS WE DEMAND THE PRESIDENT AND CONGRESS DO IMMEDIATELY:
1. Declare a moratorium on all home evictions. Not one more family should be thrown out of their home. The banks must adjust their monthly mortgage payments to be in line with what people's homes are now truly worth -- and what they can afford. Also, it must be stated by law: If you lose your job, you cannot be tossed out of your home.
2. Congress must join the civilized world and expand Medicare For All Americans. A single, nonprofit source must run a universal health care system that covers everyone. Medical bills are now the #1 cause of bankruptcies and evictions in this country. Medicare For All will end this misery. The bill to make this happen is called H.R. 3200. You must call AND write your members of Congress and demand its passage, no compromises allowed.
3. Demand publicly-funded elections and a prohibition on elected officials leaving office and becoming lobbyists. Yes, those very members of Congress who solicit and receive millions of dollars from wealthy interests must vote to remove ALL money from our electoral and legislative process. Tell your members of Congress they must support campaign finance bill H.R.1826.
4. Each of the 50 states must create a state-owned public bank like they have in North Dakota. Then congress MUST reinstate all the strict pre-Reagan regulations on all commercial banks, investment firms, insurance companies -- and all the other industries that have been savaged by deregulation: Airlines, the food industry, pharmaceutical companies -- you name it. If a company's primary motive to exist is to make a profit, then it needs a set of stringent rules to live by -- and the first rule is "Do no harm." The second rule: The question must always be asked -- "Is this for the common good?" (Click here for some info about the state-owned Bank of North Dakota.)
5. Save this fragile planet and declare that all the energy resources above and beneath the ground are owned collectively by all of us. Just like they do it in Sarah Palin's socialist Alaska. We only have a few decades of oil left. The public must be the owners and landlords of the natural resources and energy that exists within our borders or we will descend further into corporate anarchy. And when it comes to burning fossil fuels to transport ourselves, we must cease using the internal combustion engine and instruct our auto/transportation companies to rehire our skilled workforce and build mass transit (clean buses, light rail, subways, bullet trains, etc.) and new cars that don't contribute to climate change. (For more on this, here's a proposal I wrote in December.) Demand that General Motors' de facto chairman, Barack Obama, issue a JFK man-on-the-moon-style challenge to turn our country into a nation of trains and buses and subways. For Pete's sake, people, we were the ones who invented (or perfected) these damn things in the first place!!
FIVE THINGS WE CAN DO TO MAKE CONGRESS AND THE PRESIDENT LISTEN TO US:
1. Each of us must get into the daily habit of taking 5 minutes to make four brief calls: One to the President (202-456-1414), one to your Congressperson (202-224-3121) and one to each of your two Senators (202-224-3121). To find out who represents you, click here. Take just one minute on each of these calls to let them know how you expect them to vote on a particular issue. Let them know you will have no hesitation voting for a primary opponent -- or even a candidate from another party -- if they don't do our bidding. Trust me, they will listen. If you have another five minutes, click here to send them each an email. And if you really want to drop an anvil on them, send them a snail mail letter!
2. Take over your local Democratic Party. Remember how much fun you had with all those friends and neighbors working together to get Barack Obama elected? YOU DID THE IMPOSSIBLE. It's time to re-up! Get everyone back together and go to the monthly meeting of your town or county Democratic Party -- and become the majority that runs it! There will not be many in attendance and they will either be happy or in shock that you and the Obama Revolution have entered the room looking like you mean business. President Obama's agenda will never happen without mass grass roots action -- and he won't feel encouraged to do the right thing if no one has his back, whether it's to stand with him, or push him in the right direction. When you all become the local Democratic Party, send me a photo of the group and I'll post it on my website.
3. Recruit someone to run for office who can win in your local elections next year -- or, better yet, consider running for office yourself! You don't have to settle for the incumbent who always expects to win. You can be our next representative! Don't believe it can happen? Check out these examples of regular citizens who got elected: State Senator Deb Simpson, California State Assemblyman Isadore Hall, Tempe, Arizona City Councilman Corey Woods, Wisconsin State Assemblyman Chris Danou, and Washington State Representative Larry Seaquist. The list goes on and on -- and you should be on it!
4. Show up. Picket the local branch of a big bank that took the bailout money. Hold vigils and marches. Consider civil disobedience. Those town hall meetings are open to you, too (and there's more of us than there are of them!). Make some noise, have some fun, get on the local news. Place "Capitalism Did This" signs on empty foreclosed homes, closed down businesses, crumbling schools and infrastructure. (You can download them from my website.)
5. Start your own media. You. Just you (or you and a couple friends). The mainstream media is owned by corporate America and, with few exceptions, it will never tell the whole truth -- so you have to do it! Start a blog! Start a website of real local news (here's an example: The Michigan Messenger). Tweet your friends and use Facebook to let them know what they need to do politically. The daily papers are dying. If you don't fill that void, who will?
FIVE THINGS WE SHOULD DO TO PROTECT OURSELVES AND OUR LOVED ONES UNTIL WE GET THROUGH THIS MESS:
1. Take your money out of your bank if it took bailout money and place it in a locally-owned bank or, preferably, a credit union.
2. Get rid of all your credit cards but one -- the kind where you have to pay up at the end of the month or you lose your card.
3. Do not invest in the stock market. If you have any extra cash, put it away in a savings account or, if you can, pay down on your mortgage so you can own your home as soon as possible. You can also buy very safe government savings bonds or T-bills. Or just buy your mother some flowers.
4. Unionize your workplace so that you and your coworkers have a say in how your business is run. Here's how to do it (more info here). Nothing is more American than democracy, and democracy shouldn't be checked at the door when you enter your workplace. Another way to Americanize your workplace is to turn your business into a worker-owned cooperative. You are not a wage slave. You are a free person, and you giving up eight hours of your life every day to someone else is to be properly compensated and respected.
5. Take care of yourself and your family. Sorry to go all Oprah on you, but she's right: Find a place of peace in your life and make the choice to be around people who are not full of negativity and cynicism. Look for those who nurture and love. Turn off the TV and the Blackberry and go for a 30-minute walk every day. Eat fruits and vegetables and cut down on anything that has sugar, high fructose corn syrup, white flour or too much sodium (salt) in it (and, as Michael Pollan says, "Eat (real) food, not too much, mostly plants"). Get seven hours of sleep each night and take the time to read a book a month. I know this sounds like I've turned into your grandma, but, dammit, take a good hard look at Granny -- she's fit, she's rested and she knows the names of both of her U.S. Senators without having to Google them. We might do well to listen to her. If we don't put our own "oxygen mask" on first (as they say on the airplane), we will be of no use to the rest of the nation in enacting any of this action plan!
I'm sure there are many other ideas you can come up with on how we can build this movement. Get creative. Think outside the politics-as-usual box. BE SUBVERSIVE! Think of that local action no one else has tried. Behave as if your life depended on it. Be bold! Try doing something with reckless abandon. It may just liberate you and your community and your nation.
And when you act, send me your stories, your photos and your video -- and be sure to post your ideas in the comments beneath this letter on my site so they can be shared with millions.
C'mon people -- we can do this! I expect nothing less of all of you, my true and trusted fellow travelers!
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com
It's the #1 question I'm constantly asked after people see my movie: "OK -- so NOW what can I DO?!"
You want something to do? Well, you've come to the right place! 'Cause I got 15 things you and I can do right now to fight back and try to fix this very broken system.
Here they are:
FIVE THINGS WE DEMAND THE PRESIDENT AND CONGRESS DO IMMEDIATELY:
1. Declare a moratorium on all home evictions. Not one more family should be thrown out of their home. The banks must adjust their monthly mortgage payments to be in line with what people's homes are now truly worth -- and what they can afford. Also, it must be stated by law: If you lose your job, you cannot be tossed out of your home.
2. Congress must join the civilized world and expand Medicare For All Americans. A single, nonprofit source must run a universal health care system that covers everyone. Medical bills are now the #1 cause of bankruptcies and evictions in this country. Medicare For All will end this misery. The bill to make this happen is called H.R. 3200. You must call AND write your members of Congress and demand its passage, no compromises allowed.
3. Demand publicly-funded elections and a prohibition on elected officials leaving office and becoming lobbyists. Yes, those very members of Congress who solicit and receive millions of dollars from wealthy interests must vote to remove ALL money from our electoral and legislative process. Tell your members of Congress they must support campaign finance bill H.R.1826.
4. Each of the 50 states must create a state-owned public bank like they have in North Dakota. Then congress MUST reinstate all the strict pre-Reagan regulations on all commercial banks, investment firms, insurance companies -- and all the other industries that have been savaged by deregulation: Airlines, the food industry, pharmaceutical companies -- you name it. If a company's primary motive to exist is to make a profit, then it needs a set of stringent rules to live by -- and the first rule is "Do no harm." The second rule: The question must always be asked -- "Is this for the common good?" (Click here for some info about the state-owned Bank of North Dakota.)
5. Save this fragile planet and declare that all the energy resources above and beneath the ground are owned collectively by all of us. Just like they do it in Sarah Palin's socialist Alaska. We only have a few decades of oil left. The public must be the owners and landlords of the natural resources and energy that exists within our borders or we will descend further into corporate anarchy. And when it comes to burning fossil fuels to transport ourselves, we must cease using the internal combustion engine and instruct our auto/transportation companies to rehire our skilled workforce and build mass transit (clean buses, light rail, subways, bullet trains, etc.) and new cars that don't contribute to climate change. (For more on this, here's a proposal I wrote in December.) Demand that General Motors' de facto chairman, Barack Obama, issue a JFK man-on-the-moon-style challenge to turn our country into a nation of trains and buses and subways. For Pete's sake, people, we were the ones who invented (or perfected) these damn things in the first place!!
FIVE THINGS WE CAN DO TO MAKE CONGRESS AND THE PRESIDENT LISTEN TO US:
1. Each of us must get into the daily habit of taking 5 minutes to make four brief calls: One to the President (202-456-1414), one to your Congressperson (202-224-3121) and one to each of your two Senators (202-224-3121). To find out who represents you, click here. Take just one minute on each of these calls to let them know how you expect them to vote on a particular issue. Let them know you will have no hesitation voting for a primary opponent -- or even a candidate from another party -- if they don't do our bidding. Trust me, they will listen. If you have another five minutes, click here to send them each an email. And if you really want to drop an anvil on them, send them a snail mail letter!
2. Take over your local Democratic Party. Remember how much fun you had with all those friends and neighbors working together to get Barack Obama elected? YOU DID THE IMPOSSIBLE. It's time to re-up! Get everyone back together and go to the monthly meeting of your town or county Democratic Party -- and become the majority that runs it! There will not be many in attendance and they will either be happy or in shock that you and the Obama Revolution have entered the room looking like you mean business. President Obama's agenda will never happen without mass grass roots action -- and he won't feel encouraged to do the right thing if no one has his back, whether it's to stand with him, or push him in the right direction. When you all become the local Democratic Party, send me a photo of the group and I'll post it on my website.
3. Recruit someone to run for office who can win in your local elections next year -- or, better yet, consider running for office yourself! You don't have to settle for the incumbent who always expects to win. You can be our next representative! Don't believe it can happen? Check out these examples of regular citizens who got elected: State Senator Deb Simpson, California State Assemblyman Isadore Hall, Tempe, Arizona City Councilman Corey Woods, Wisconsin State Assemblyman Chris Danou, and Washington State Representative Larry Seaquist. The list goes on and on -- and you should be on it!
4. Show up. Picket the local branch of a big bank that took the bailout money. Hold vigils and marches. Consider civil disobedience. Those town hall meetings are open to you, too (and there's more of us than there are of them!). Make some noise, have some fun, get on the local news. Place "Capitalism Did This" signs on empty foreclosed homes, closed down businesses, crumbling schools and infrastructure. (You can download them from my website.)
5. Start your own media. You. Just you (or you and a couple friends). The mainstream media is owned by corporate America and, with few exceptions, it will never tell the whole truth -- so you have to do it! Start a blog! Start a website of real local news (here's an example: The Michigan Messenger). Tweet your friends and use Facebook to let them know what they need to do politically. The daily papers are dying. If you don't fill that void, who will?
FIVE THINGS WE SHOULD DO TO PROTECT OURSELVES AND OUR LOVED ONES UNTIL WE GET THROUGH THIS MESS:
1. Take your money out of your bank if it took bailout money and place it in a locally-owned bank or, preferably, a credit union.
2. Get rid of all your credit cards but one -- the kind where you have to pay up at the end of the month or you lose your card.
3. Do not invest in the stock market. If you have any extra cash, put it away in a savings account or, if you can, pay down on your mortgage so you can own your home as soon as possible. You can also buy very safe government savings bonds or T-bills. Or just buy your mother some flowers.
4. Unionize your workplace so that you and your coworkers have a say in how your business is run. Here's how to do it (more info here). Nothing is more American than democracy, and democracy shouldn't be checked at the door when you enter your workplace. Another way to Americanize your workplace is to turn your business into a worker-owned cooperative. You are not a wage slave. You are a free person, and you giving up eight hours of your life every day to someone else is to be properly compensated and respected.
5. Take care of yourself and your family. Sorry to go all Oprah on you, but she's right: Find a place of peace in your life and make the choice to be around people who are not full of negativity and cynicism. Look for those who nurture and love. Turn off the TV and the Blackberry and go for a 30-minute walk every day. Eat fruits and vegetables and cut down on anything that has sugar, high fructose corn syrup, white flour or too much sodium (salt) in it (and, as Michael Pollan says, "Eat (real) food, not too much, mostly plants"). Get seven hours of sleep each night and take the time to read a book a month. I know this sounds like I've turned into your grandma, but, dammit, take a good hard look at Granny -- she's fit, she's rested and she knows the names of both of her U.S. Senators without having to Google them. We might do well to listen to her. If we don't put our own "oxygen mask" on first (as they say on the airplane), we will be of no use to the rest of the nation in enacting any of this action plan!
I'm sure there are many other ideas you can come up with on how we can build this movement. Get creative. Think outside the politics-as-usual box. BE SUBVERSIVE! Think of that local action no one else has tried. Behave as if your life depended on it. Be bold! Try doing something with reckless abandon. It may just liberate you and your community and your nation.
And when you act, send me your stories, your photos and your video -- and be sure to post your ideas in the comments beneath this letter on my site so they can be shared with millions.
C'mon people -- we can do this! I expect nothing less of all of you, my true and trusted fellow travelers!
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com
Here's The Joke
Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they
were having a pretty good season. One morning, he was
shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called
out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him.
Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about
to receive national recognition in this famous sports
magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he
cut himself with his razor.
Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs
to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally,
bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breath-
lessly said, "Hello"?
The voice on the other end asked, "Is this Speedy Morris"?
"Yes, yes!" he replied excitedly.
Then the voice continued, "Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five
cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to
Sports Illustrated."
were having a pretty good season. One morning, he was
shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called
out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him.
Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about
to receive national recognition in this famous sports
magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he
cut himself with his razor.
Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs
to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally,
bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breath-
lessly said, "Hello"?
The voice on the other end asked, "Is this Speedy Morris"?
"Yes, yes!" he replied excitedly.
Then the voice continued, "Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five
cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to
Sports Illustrated."
Website of the Day - Scenes from Afghanistan
German soldiers on patrol walk past a woman wearing a burka in Balkh, Afghanistan on Oct. 15. The soldiers and police are taking part in the Focused District Development (FDD) program where Afghan Police are been rained to take over the responsibilty for security. AFP/ Getty Images / Michael Kappeler MORE
GOP Rep Jokes About Murdering Treehugging Democrats
While hunters, sportsmen, and trappers across the country are actually helping 'liberal democrats' to pass climate legislation, GOP Representative Gregg Harper is talking about murdering them. When Politico asked him what the Congressional Sportsmen's Caucus does--Harper is a member--he replied, "We hunt liberal, tree-hugging Democrats, although it does seem like a waste of good ammunition."
The remark was given during a routine interview with Politico, in which he not so subtly displayed his distaste for environmentalists and members of the opposite party.
And that's a pretty grim joke if I've heard one. What politician--especially in the age of the omnipresent sound byte--thinks it's a good idea to talk about killing their political opponents? The punchline of this joke isn't 'environmentalist Democrats are stupid' or backwards, it's literally that they deserve death. Um, ha?
Read more
The remark was given during a routine interview with Politico, in which he not so subtly displayed his distaste for environmentalists and members of the opposite party.
And that's a pretty grim joke if I've heard one. What politician--especially in the age of the omnipresent sound byte--thinks it's a good idea to talk about killing their political opponents? The punchline of this joke isn't 'environmentalist Democrats are stupid' or backwards, it's literally that they deserve death. Um, ha?
Read more
Sunday, October 25, 2009
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