Daffynitions

TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red
when your car approaches.

PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find
his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things
happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut.

CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed.

EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you
know you are.

FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that
isn't a western.

MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's
coming in the next issue.

COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted
access to the telephone.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and
places that deliver pizza.

OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead
of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it
yourself."

BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult
so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.