I haven't written anything about the goings on here lately because nothing has been going on! I have a pretty laid back, peaceful existence - which I earned by the way after enduring a lifetime of stress from other people's issues!!!!!! I had no issues myself :-)
The house is all finished up on the outside - I'll try to remember to take a picture of it when I mow the front lawn this week. The roof is done, the gutters are up and the shutters are on. I've started building a brick flower bed in the front of the house. I can only haul nine bricks at a time in my car so it will take several trips before I have all the bricks I need to finish it and then I'll have to get someone to haul in some dirt to fill it - but it will look nice next summer.
Went to an outdoor wedding today. Was a beautiful day for it. The bride was actually a friend of my sisters who I got to know when I first moved back to Ohio. She was very nice to me being a stranger in my own town. I haven't seen her for years so it was nice of her to invite me.
I've always hated weddings. I always have to resist the impulse to stand up and yell "don't do it"!!!!!!!!!!! So many women I have known over the years loose so much of themselves inside of a relationship - doesn't have to be a marriage. They suck it up in order to hang on to something that's not good to begin with. What is so shocking is they willingly give up so much of themselves. They have no sense of their own identities and can only think of themselves as half of something. The couple today was an older couple - in their forties - first time for both of them so hopefully their maturity makes for a happy union...no illusions or silly, romantic notions going in. They've been together for six years already. Sometimes I feel blue after a wedding - part of me longing for my own soul mate. Thought I had found one - and found out after ten years he was not who/what he pretended to be. I am one year post relationship and faring pretty good - considering. Considering we talked for hours every day - we talked more than any couple I know. If I broke a nail - my first impulse was to tell him. We shared everything. I could talk to him the way I would talk to a girl friend. Would be very, very difficult for me if not impossible to trust anyone to get that close to again after him. BUT enough about that.
I've learned the job I left a couple months ago has had some big changes. I guess corporate came in and canned the CEO and the firings aren't done. There will probably be some directors and managers to go in the process. I always felt it was badly managed. I've been proven right.
We are having great fall weather here. Cool, crisp nights and warm sunny days. Still running the AC in the daytime - not as much though. It's hard for me to open my windows up because I have such awful neighbors and have to deal with barking dogs and the like.........but I am envisioning new neighbors in a new neighborhood.
Have a lovely week.
4 comments:
All that work on your house and you want to leave it? I have that same bad habit.
You know you can get stuff (like bricks) delivered. It'll cost a little but it's kinder on the environment to have one big truck make one trip than to have a little car make many trips. Not that it's my air or anything.
Your relationship status sounds a little sad. We've had our own rough road, and I recognize the things you describe. But I wouldn't walk away and I don't believe she would either. I'm not made to be alone. Really I'm bad at it. In some ways I envy you your independence. Not that I want to be independent, just that it would be nice to be able to exist alone if I needed to.
I thought of the delivery thing - more as a convenience - I live less than half a mile from Lowes and have stopped in four times for bricks as I have passed it on my way to and fro from running other errands. Fact is since I work from home - I don't use much energy in the form of petro anyway but your point is well taken. Yeah, the relationship status is sad - the man did a tremendous snow job leaving me stunned. So after marriage and then that - I think I'm through with relationships. I am fiercly independent - quite capable of taking care of myself. Problem with that is sometimes people don't think you need anything....sometimes I get weary.
Thanks for the comments.
Glad to hear your week and home improvements are going well!
About relationships... Really, does anyone have the anwers? Basically, it always comes down to only the two people involved. If their unique version of a relationship works for both of them, then it works. If not, then it doesn't.
You are very independent and very capable all on your own, and I love that about you. And, as long as you're not lonely, I say more power to you!
You're right, you don't NEED to be in a relationship. (And needing to be in a relationship is probably the worst reason for being in one!) But having a special someone adds so much to life. And I'd hate to have someone as wonderful as you miss out on that.
Of course, it would be worse to simply be in a relationaship for the sake of being in a relationship, too.
I just don't want you to think "Never again!" because, really, you never know...
ahhhhhhh Tim....thanks for your kind remarks. The only thing about being strong and independent is that people think you don't need anything. THAT is tiring. For me its a trust issue. The relationship I recently got out of - well, he fooled me so completely and was such a liar - I have no idea now what was real or wasn't and feel like I wasted 10 years of my life. 10 years I can't get back. How could I ever trust someone again? I would have trusted this person with my very life and as untrusting as I am naturally he completely fooled me. I think it was a challenge to him to get me to trust him. Oh, I'm sure he cared about me in his own warped way but I have trouble balancing that with what he did.
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