'Grandma' got run over by the ratings, dear

Playing the right Christmas song isn't just a matter of whether you'll tick off Aunt Harriet or force Grandpa to cover his ears and flee into the snow. For radio stations that broadcast wall-to-wall holiday tunes this time of year -- and there are 366 such stations in the United States -- the playlist is a major financial decision. Which is why radio stations pay attention to surveys such as the ones conducted this year by two media research companies. Bottom line: Avoid "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" at all costs.

Making a list ...

Edison Media Research and Pinnacle Media Worldwide asked people to rate Christmas-themed tunes. Edison's results:

LOVED

1. Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song" (You know -- "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ...")

2. Bing Crosby's "White Christmas"

3. Johnny Mathis' "Do You Hear What I Hear"

4. Burl Ives' "A Holly Jolly Christmas"

5. Harry Simeone Chorale's "Little Drummer Boy"

HATED

1. The Singing Dogs' "Jingle Bells" (This 1955 Danish record, re-edited and rereleased in 1970, consists of random barks put together in a rendition of the familiar tune.)

2. Cartman's "O Holy Night" (the familiar song as butchered by the cartoon character from Comedy Central's "South Park," voiced by Trey Parker)

3. Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

4. The Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"

5. Barbra Streisand's "Jingle Bells?"

Checking it twice

The second research firm, Pinnacle, divided its survey into categories:

* Adult contemporary listeners rated Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" No. 1. They didn't care for NewSong's "The Christmas Shoes."

* Adult Top 40 fans went for Bobby Helms' "Jingle Bell Rock." Downgraded: The Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping."

* Hip-hop/R&B fans liked the Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" though Edison respondents loathed it. Among the songs faring poorly with hip-hop fans was James Brown's "Santa Go Straight to the Ghetto."

* Country listeners ranked Ives' "A Holly Jolly Christmas" at No. 1. Montgomery Gentry's "Merry Christmas From the Family" was disowned.

* Smooth jazz fans backed "The Christmas Song" by Chicago's own Nat King Cole. Less liked was "Happy Christmas" by Mindi Abair.

Gray Christmas

Oldies ruled in the ratings. Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" (1994) was an exception, placing sixth on Pinnacle's adult contemporary list. The most recent song well-loved in Edison's survey was 36 years old: "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" by John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

What to do about 'Grandma'?

"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" was widely disliked, but it also was loved by many others, with very little middle ground. Elmo Shropshire, 71, half of the duo Elmo & Patsy, claims Patsy, his ex-wife, never sang on the record. He says the song has sold "well over" 10 million copies since San Francisco radio station KSFO first aired it 28 years ago. Shropshire told The Washington Post's Paul Farhi: "A lot of younger people say it's not really Christmas until they hear it."

-- Sources: The Washington Post, edisonresearch.com, pinnaclemediaworldwide.com