Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a happy Christmas and that 2008 will be a year filled with many blessings for you and yours.

I spent the majority of the first day of the new year in bed nursing a headache. I wish that I could say the headache was a result of a night of over indulging at an off the chain New Years Eve party but the story is not that sexy. I've suffered with headaches my whole life and this was just one of those run of the mill headaches I'm accustomed to. I spent the day dosing myself with analgesics and caffeine and it finally evaporated late this afternoon. A whole day, wasted.

My son went back to Albuquerque yesterday. I was scheduled to work but called off sick. After getting him to the airport, I found I was tired and came home and for the first time in two weeks I laid around watching television while awaiting his call telling me his feet were safely on the ground in New Mexico. That call came around 2 AM. I had dozed off before midnight.

Anyway --------- Phillip's stay went well. A bit boring for him since I really didn't have more than three days off the entire time he was here but he kept insisting he didn't mind. It was a relaxing time for him. My son is in Job Corps and lives in a dorm environment so the quiet was nice for him. He was a witness to a very tragic event in early November. A 17 yo friend of his was playing with a gun in a car. My son and three others were in the car. The gun went off, the kid was shot in the head and died while being med flighted to a trauma center. I can't even imagine the pandemonium in that car. They drove him to a hospital and my son called his family. My son, is naturally very traumatized. I resisted the urge to be the "mom" and say "What in the hell are you doing in a car with a kid with a gun?" I didn't even go there with him. I just listened. This was the first any of us knew he was actually present at the event. All we knew up until this time was that a friend of his had accidentally shot himself.

On Christmas he seemed to be really down and he confided that he felt as if he were to blame because he should have taken the gun from him. I did my best to assure him that he was not to blame. I think Phillip was glad to be in a place where he was free to grieve and cry and mourn the loss of his friend with some privacy. He did seem to be in better shape when he left than when he first arrived. The kid that died was also in Job Corps - so JC did provide counseling. I urged Phillip to continue with the counseling. I'm worried he will develop PTSD down the road. How could he not?

In any event - I was worried about him coming here for a visit because the reason he doesn't live here with me is because I had kicked out of my home due to his out of control behavior. I thought his father was better equipped to deal with him so sent him to live with him. He seems to have matured a great deal and I really didn't have any issues with him while he was here. I am happy, however, to have my space back. One becomes accustomed to the peacefulness of living alone. I just wish he didn't live so far away. He is into some things I don't approve of. He's twenty and I can't control any of what he does - so I don't even go there. I just try to be a positive influence on him and and give him some guidance without being a nag. The biggest thing I tried to get drilled into his head while he was here is to always have a back up plan and become as self sufficient as you can.

He seems to have a lot of friends as the phone never stopped ringing while he was here. The picture in this post was taken yesterday with my cell phone. We went out to eat on our way to the airport and this pic was taken at the restraunt. (He is playing with a wrapper to a straw in this photo, not rolling a joint!)