Saturday, January 05, 2008

Hospital Bloopers

These were actual hospital patient reports...enjoy!

-While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

-The skin was moist and dry.

-Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

-Patient was alert and unresponsive.

-Rectal exam ination revealed a normal size thyroid.

-She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

-I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

-Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

-Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

-The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

-Skin: somewhat pale but present.

-The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

-Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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