Monday, February 18, 2008

Exercise - To Heck With It!

* My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

* The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

* I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

* I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

* I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

* I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

* I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

* The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

* If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

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