Wednesday, February 20, 2008

What Women Want

By Lisa Kogan
  • We want to make the smae money men make when we do the same job.
  • We want high heels that do not leave us praying for the sweet release of death.
  • We want foreplay.
  • We want a lot of foreplay.
  • We want safe, healthy, fun, warmhearted day care for kids. But here's the thing: We don't want to have to sell off a kidney to pay for it.
  • We want peace, love, and understanding, but we also want red wine, compassionate lighting, and the occasional cheap thrill.
  • We want all rock stars over 60 years of age (I'm talking to you Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney) to date women over 60. Gentlemen, the day will come when you'll be needed a hip replacement. And-mark me- the moment your little friend can't be there for you because she's got Gymboree, my aunt Selma will seem like a slice of heaven.
  • We want to stop being forced to watch The Godfather every single time it airs. The movie is a masterpiece. "Leave the gun, take the cannnoli, blah, blah, blah." It's brilliant. We get it. Move on.
  • Did I mention the whole foreplay thing?
  • Every now and again, we want somebody else to pick the restaurant, arrange the playdate, plan the seating, buy the tickets, do the laundry, schedule the appointment, pack the bag, balance the books, send the gift, walk the dog, fill out the forms, break the silence, lift theban, make the payments, count the calories, hold the phone, explain the joke, beat the odds, hit the ground running, win the race, and save the day while we sleep past noon in high-thread-count sheets and a cashmere blanket. In other words, we want time off for good behavior.

O Magazine/October 2006/pg 272

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