Tips To Survive Parenting!

* Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

* Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

* To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.

* The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

* The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and to let the air out of the tires.

* The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.

* Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

* Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

* The joy of motherhood: the time when all the children are finally in bed.

* Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.

* Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

* Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

* A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.

* God gave you two ears and one mouth.... so you should listen twice as much as you talk.

* Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

* You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

* Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

* Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

* There are only two things a child will share willingly, communicable diseases and his mother's age.

* Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

* An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.

* No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost.

* Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.