Saturday, August 23, 2008

Wives - Through The Eyes of a Husband

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.

* * *

Marriage is a 3-ring circus:

Engagement ring, Wedding ring, and Suffering.

* * *

The last fight was my fault.

My wife asked,"What's on the TV?"

I said, "Dust!"

* * *

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

* * *

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your will power."

* * *

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?

Two mothers-in-law.

* * *

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

* * *

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

* * *

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."

* * *

How do most men define marriage?

An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

* * *

If you want your wife to listen
and pay undivided attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

* * *

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying!"

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