* Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
* In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
* No one expects you to run--anywhere.
* People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you????"
* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
* There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
* Things you buy now won't wear out.
* You can eat supper at 4 PM.
* You can live without sex but not your glasses.
* You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
* You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
* You sing along with elevator music.
* Your eyes won't get much worse.
* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
* Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
* You can't remember who sent you this list.
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