1. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed
2. The 'Party Hats' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones
3. There's a "Happy 2007" sticker on the packet of shrimp you've been eating all night
4. It's January 6th
5. Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm
6. The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at 10,000
7. The 'Champagne' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer
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