Just as a sculptor chisels and polishes away flaws in stone to reveal an ideal form, skillful partners support each other’s dreams and aspirations and nurture traits they hope to develop.
An international review of this so-called “Michelangelo phenomenon” shows that when close partners affirm and support each other’s ideal selves, they and the relationship benefit greatly.
“To the degree that the sculpting process has gone well, that you have helped mold me toward my ideal self, the relationship functions better and both partners are happier,” says Eli Finkel, associate professor of psychology in the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern University.
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