Yesterday we showed you how to determine if you are a conservative. Since most of you are not, and the ones who are may be too embarrassed to admit it, here is a much better alternative: how to determine if you are a progressive:
10) You understand that it is literally impossible for FDR to have caused the Great Depression, no matter how many Fox News pundits tell you otherwise.
9) You know that if marijuana is ever legalized, thousands of men and women will resort to killing.....bags of Doritos.
8) You didn't show up at the town hall meetings to shout down politicians and desperate constituents because you were too busy actually working.
7) The only valid Hummer in your estimation is not considered and act of sodomy at your local megachurch
6) You believe that gays getting married could not possibly destroy the sanctity of marriage any more than Republican politicians already have.
5) You understand that when people talk about "the good 'ol days," they're talking about when women, minorities, and Jews knew their place.
4) You criticize and challenge your own side of the aisle instead of blindly following whoever has the appropriate letter by their name and state.
3) You find the fact that Glenn Beck wrote a book called Arguing With Idiots fascinating.
2) You think calling the Blue Dog Democrats dogs is an insult to man's best friend.
1) You let out the Howard Dean primal scream the day George W. Bush finally left office.
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