For many of us, the emotions holding the tightest grip on our hearts are disappointment, resentment, blame and anger. They place a stranglehold on our happiness, and the only person who can release them is you.
Although forgiving someone (or ourselves) can happen in an instant, my experience is that it is usually a much more lengthy process requiring great patience, trust, persistence and prayer -- more like peeling an onion or a lotus blossoming than a lightning bolt.
Physical symptoms often accompany emotional gripping. Forgiveness and its close cousin compassion are emotions associated with the heart chakra (physically: the heart, shoulders, chest and upper back). If you're holding resentments, need to forgive and let go of someone, you may notice tightness in the upper back, between the shoulders, a sunken chest, difficulty taking a deep breath and deflated or low energy.
How do you know if you still need to forgive someone? When you talk or think about someone or an incident, do you feel a "charge" or get "triggered"? If you feel constricted, tight, feel a flush of anger (even subtly) or a surge of energy physically, it probably means there is unresolved emotional material for you to continue processing and releasing.
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