Aphorisms

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER
OBSERVATION, OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is... that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog... but only kindness will make him
wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor... you probably don't have any
sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut... is when you're in deep trouble.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important... because they demonstrate
how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat... and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants
to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins... the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
4 am... like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print... there's no way
you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the
same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of
old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the
Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness... but, somehow, it's more
comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Lada.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're
probably dead.

20.. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't
mind.... and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow... but it's still a gift.