Wednesday, November 20, 2013

12 Things to Be Grateful for This Month

The Thing That Hasn't Broken
You killed the 37-year-old Christmas cactus. You managed to be the first person ever to thwart the famous family "No-Fail Snowball Cookies" recipe. But Grandma's crystal gravy boat has not broken. And this year, like every year, you get to (CAREFULLY!) take it down from the top shelf, unwrap it from its womb of bubble wrap, and presto, your instant gravy is ready for its close-up.

Any of them. All of them. The E-ZPass that lets you zoom along the highway without stopping for toll booths, so you can get to the suburban cousins faster than it takes to sing "O'er the hills we go." The TSA PreCheck program, whereby you can actually remain clothed while going through airport security (an especially good idea for when you're traveling with young children who will weep when strangers look at their shoes). Those oven bags that make your turkey cook in under 300 hours. Shortcuts = good. Thx, shortcuts.

And legitimate scarf weather. And detailed tutorials on how to tie said scarves so that they look effortless and Parisian.

Your Own Personal Zottarelli
Every family has a Lawrence J. Zottarelli. He was the NASA engineer who came out of retirement because he was the only one who knew how to deal with Voyager's antique data-storage system—in other words, he was the only guy in the solar system who knew how to do this one particular thing. Who's the Zottarelli in your life? Maybe your brother is the only person on Earth who can get the stereo in your crappy old car to work. Maybe your best friend is the only woman in the world who cooks green beans you actually enjoy. Maybe your kid is the only human alive who can make the grouchy postman crack a smile. Give thanks to your Zottarelli.

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