Friday, May 02, 2014

100 Reasons Not to Have Kids

While I, myself, have taken the parenting plunge, I do understand the opposing perspective -- choosing to be childfree. As a matter of fact, I think I understand it better now than I did before. So much so that I've compiled a list of 100 reasons not to have children.

You shouldn't have kids if:
1. You dislike children.
2. You like to sleep.
3. You like to have sex.
4. You like to have money.
5. You like your freedom.
6. You like to swear.
7. You like to eat meals sitting down, with real cutlery.
8. You like your personal space.
9. You like to watch movies from start to finish in one sitting.
10. You like to watch HBO.
11. You don't like the appearance or smell of vomit.
12. You don't like the appearance or smell of poop.
13. You don't like the idea of wiping another person's snot.
14. You think "Wheels on the Bus" is a stupid song.
15. You like going on dates with your partner.
16. You would like things to stay exactly the way they are with your partner.
17. You value a daily shower.
18. You think weekends at Costco are worthy of a #facepalm tweet.
19. You like to shut the door while you're in the bathroom.
20. You take more than one minute to make yourself presentable and ready to be seen in public.

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