The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband
said to the wife, 'Honey I'm going to Hank's
Tavern to have a beer, I'll be right back.
'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.
'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he
answered. 'I'm going to have a beer.'
The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She
opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25
different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different
countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing
that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop... But
at the bar... You know...they have frozen glasses... '
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife
interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass,
Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the
freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie
Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that
are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'
'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She
opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors
d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom
caps, and little quiches.
'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know
there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'
'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN
SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER
IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE
YOU'RE MARRIED AND YOUR ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED
BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?'
And..they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet
MARRIED LIFE............MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP